It has been a long while

Posted by admin on December 16th, 2010 filed in A History of change
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June 25, 2009

It has been a year since the last time I updated my blog.  I need to be better at it. So much has happened in the last year. I lost an aunt and an uncle.  Some personal stuff has finally cleared up and I am and forever will be Teresa Andrea Elias.

I am moving from Campbell to Los Gatos and couldn’t be happier. Back in Texas my mother is determined to get my father to move again. I have to say my folk’s house sits just close enough to the railroad (Yes, there are still trains in El Paso) that when the train goes through it rattles everything.

But this little place, this house that is at least one thousand square feet smaller than where I grew up is just about the best place I have ever been. Maybe it is because one summer when I was visiting mom and dad and we were all sitting in the back patio (pciture 1) and mom told me how happy they finally were.

They were happy now because they had both worked on the house, together as a partnership to get it ready the way they both wanted it. They shared in the ideas about the house and what they wanted. That in the 50+ years they have been together I don’t think they ever collaborated on anything. The decisions for the house were mom’s and everything outside the house was dad’s. Not that it was a bad arrangement but it was just so wonderful to see that it should really end up like when two people finally come together as a unified and respectful front.

When I see them outside together working on the yard or the gardens it does something to my heart. All the years of investment, good times, bad times, struggles, accomplishments all led up to this moment. The moment of peace and certainty that after all these years, they can look at one another and breathe with a sigh and internally feel, “This is the one person that I can ultimately count on. This is the one person that knows me better than I even know myself sometimes and I am safe. This is our life and there is nothing and noone except for time that will change it.”

I am just healing up from ACL surgery and that is the slowest most painful process I have ever been through. But I am determined not to let this stop me from dancing.  I am going to be back in the studio even if it kills me.

December 16, 2010

Over a year later and so, so much has changed.  Thankfully, my parents are still with me and still live in the train rattling warm loving home. But in the last year I have gone through some tremendous events.

Hmmm, where to begin. The biggest and most rewarding event is I am now working in what I will call my “dream job”. I am the assistant to the CEO of a non-profit organization that deals in federal politics, hi-tech and as I said non-profit. The CEO is dynamic, driven, extrememly intelligent, very honorable (granted everyone has their flaws) but so far he is very honorable.

I am traveling throughout the world and meeting such a variety of people and cultures that I never could have dreamed that this late in my career I would have been afforded such a wonderful opportunity. Many of my friends tell me that it was not blessings or luck, but I will never take for granted that somewhere someone looked at me and decided it was finally my time and that I finally was going to get my chance and I refuse to blow it.  I have worked my whole career to land in a spot like this and I am holding onto this one for the entire ride, no matter how short or long that may be.  And I am grateful for every second of it.

That is my professional life. Luckily, my professional life has been one that I have always been able to steer one way or another or at least been very lucky in landing solidly on my feet.

Then there is the other, “the personal life” , we ll now that is just a whole other animal. A whole other enigma that well, I have started, restarted and REBOOTED, RESTYLED, REVAMPED, RECOLORED, ESCAPED and sometimes just sat and watched go by.

Something happened though in December of 2007, something that I believe every person reaches at one point or another in their lifetime. You hit a wall, and you hit it so hard you know it is a point that you hacve to decide whether you are going to stand there and keep beating yourself to a pulp and let those around you that really don’t deserve you just watch you die a slow miserable, painful, lonely, life, or you’re going to grab everything you can hold in your two arms and break away and no matter plans or no plans you’re gonna make a break.

So I did, I drove away, from a stark lonely, skeleton of a marriage.  A marriage where I was expected to eat the plate of  (this is an anology of course) poo that was placed in front of me and look like I was eating a New York strip. I drove away with nothing, no plans, no place to live, no job and I didn’t care. All I knew was if I didn’t leave right then and there I was never going to leave and I would end up like a bad Lifetime Movie.  Expect the ending would be a bad one and I would be the collateral damage.

I left there without hope, without courage, with self doubt about even the simple things. I was afraid of every shadow that lurked around every corner but I was one thing that he was not able to take away from me, I was determined. Determined to live again, determined to smile again, determined to be able to look in the mirror and see a person I once knew. I didn’t even recognize the stranger I saw every morning in the mirror. She was a shadow of the person that had moved to Placerville in 2002. I was 20 pounds underweight and more unhappy than I had ever been in my entire life.

By I drove, I drove towards my friends, towards something I just didn’t know what. And then whenI crossed the Sacramento River, I sighed. A deep, long, sad, relieved, hopeful, reborn, sigh. And I knew right then and there, I knew, I would be okay, not soon but I would be okay.

It took two years and the worst divorce in paupers history because he wanted to play dirty just because he could. But by July 2009 I was free of him. On paper anyway.  The memories still linger from time to time but I am working on that.

But my life is a blessed one.  I am well taken care of by my very close friends and loved by those who truly are near me.

Women I have learned over the last few years are remarkable creatures. The rate of our survival and how we do in fact survive is such an amazing feat to me.

So Much To Catch Up On…

Posted by admin on September 17th, 2010 filed in A History of change, Places You Have Been, Places You Wanna See
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So aside from talking about my family and life in Texas, I want to track the places I have been and want to visit.

I think everyone should keep a running list of places and things they want to see and do. When I was growing up in El Paso moving out and up to me meant moving as far as “Austin, Texas!”  Well, now that I have gotten a bit further than Austin I realize how much more I want to see.  So I am going to be posting places I have been to and places I want to go to . Hopefully the pictures I post will do them justice.

09/17/2010

Okay so been a little busy over the last couple of years but they did not pass without incident or visits to new and exciting places.

Spents most of 2008 in San Jose, California. That year was long and miserable so we will just skip ahead to 2009. During late 2008 and most of 2009 I was doing a lot of traveling and a lot of experimenting with food that was wonderful but I have to say I gained a few pounds.

I finally made it to Washington DC, NYC, Oklahoma (long story, but it involved a man, food and football), hiked in the Grand Canyon (death couldn’t come soon enough), and Yosemite Valley (Was praying  for death that time and still it never came).  Made a general physical recovery and then came 2010.

Started a new job and three weeks into the new job low and behold I am required to take my first trip for the organization conference. You will never guess where… Lithuania! Not, Italy, Spain, London, you know somewhere everyone goes to, I have to go to a place where it is considered one of the leading high tech knowledge base locations in the world.

So land in Lithuania on Sunday, September 12, 2010. Mind you, I have never traveled outside of the United States except for Mexico and that really didn’t count for a couple of reasons. First, the border of Mexico was like two minutes from the house I grew up in and second; going to Mexico was really not that big a get away from El Paso, just a larger concentration of Mexicans. The food was the same as what I grew up with and the people all spoke a language I understood.

Then there is Lithuania, Vilnius to be exact has a history dating back to the early 1800s and it countinued it fight for sovereignty and statehood all the way into 1990 when its indepenence as a state was restored. But looking around the city you see evidence of its age, history, economy or lack there of, and even on the faces of its citizens the look of weariness from all their families and their sturggles to survive. But there is something culturally rich, interiguing and even a bit sad because of the signs of a not very strong economic power.

Back to my arrival, we took a car to our hotel which when we arrived at the driveway entrance immediately reminded me of “The Shining”. It was literally 30 – 40 minutes away from the conference venue and sat like a concrete giant in the middle of the forest.  And then we walked into the lobby and we are greeted by the largest amount of star gazer lilies I have ever seen in my entire life. What some of you amy not be aware of is I am so allergic to lillies that I can smell them for the other side of a building without even knowing they are in the building. well needless to say asa soon as I entered the lobby it all started, nasal passages closed up, eyes started tearing up and my head felt like it was going to split in two like something out of “The Exorsist”.

By this time there was this little voice in my head which had grown rather large saying, “RUN, for the love of God, RUN!”  Well, being without knowledge of how to speak the native Lituanian language and not having a chance to get my hands on native currency, I figured I better hang tight at least until I could manage, “The Great Escape”.

When we all get done checking in I knew I was in the crapper when they put me in a room completely on the otherside of the hotel in a wing that had exactly one occupant, that occupant was me. And everyone else was together in what I came to call, “the sunny wing”. Let me explain, when I took the elevator to my floor (4th floor), the doors to the elevator opened and all the lights in the hall were off except for maybe one or two.  Just enought to give it that, “What the hell am I doing here” look.

Well, then I headed to my room sort of at a quick pace and sort of at a, “do I really want to see it” pace. Anyway, I opened the door to my room and it immediately splits into a “Y”. To my right was a reading/office room of sorts with a bathroom and a wardrobe. To the left was a massive bathroom all marble, then a few steps from that was the bedroom. Oh wait, let’s back track to the door when I opened it. I was greeted by a smell. Not just any smell, the kind of smell you get when you haven’t opened the doors or windows to a room or house in like, oh I don’t know 100 years! It smelled like I was sitting in the middle of a bag of moss.

Okay back to the bedroom, the windows were about easily 15-17 feet tall from floor to ceiling and the curtains that covered them were tapestry (which probably hadn’t been cleaned or changed since Lithuania’s independence!) Let’s just say the best part of this room was the bathroom and had I had a way I would have slept there.

So I go into the room with the giant wardrobe and I start thinking I should hang cmy clothes there except I looked up at those windows and there in all their eight legged glory were not one but two black widow spiders. So I slowly backed out of the room, because you know in my mind “The Shining” hotel was now taking full form and those spiders were going to sprout wings and come right at me. Ir even worse now that they know I was their new roommate they were going to make their way into my sleeping area. So as I said I backed out of the room keeping a sharp eye on their movements, (which there were none) and closed the door behind me.

There was another closet, but as I found out later seems to be common practice in Lithuanian hotels is right next to the door. Anyway, I unpacked and tried to make myself as comfortable I could knowing I have Chip and Dale in the other room just waiting for me to go to sleep before they could slink on over.

The sleep was bad, but thank goodness for Tylenol PM. Got up next morning and started my what I knew was going to be a whirlwind week. The conference spun around me and I soaked it all in. The amount of intellectual minds and ethnicities was almost incomprehensive. Every single person had their own special personality and quirk. But their intensity could be felt like a bag of weights.

End of day one, back to the concrete manor. Went to my room and The spiders were gone as I had reported the incident to the front desk. I went into the bedroom and went to open the curtains to let in some natural light when I heard this ferociously loud buzzing sound. I thought is was coming from above me so I slowly, andI mean slowly looked up and froze. There above me in these castle sized windows was a community, no a city, no a plague of flies. And not the small house flies we see in the bay area. They were those huge black horse flies that swarm.

I turned around, grabbed my purse and went directly to the lobby front desk. I calmly told the young lady at the front desk, (keep in mind she probably only understood maybe every third word I said) “I am not sure why you seperated me from the rest of my party and chose to put me in a part of the hotel that is only occupied by spiders and flies but I am not returning to my room until you change me from that wing to the wing where the rest of my collegues are and I need to have it happen immediately.

With that she called our venue coordinator, who was in the proper wing and she came to my aid. First I took her up to, “THE ROOM”. She walked in and immediately turned around and walked out. Marched down to the lobby and proceeded to tell them in a not so velvet hammer way change me or else everyone that was booked under our organization would be gone by tomorrow without paying a late notice fee.

With that I was given a new key, escorted to my new room and my bags were packed for me and brought to me. “EUREKA”!

(The view from my new room at “The Shining”hotel):

My new room faced a beautiful view, no insects and had enough lighting to scare off the bravest ghost. I was happy and sleepy. Hit the pillow and didn’t wake up until next morning where I met the rest of my party for breakfast and was graciouosly informed that the Chairman of the Board was appauled by the rooms and we would be changing hotels that day! Seriously, after all the hoopla I had made the night before and now we were going to leave? Yes, yes, there is a God and he really does like me!

Our new hotel was only 10 minutes from the venue and was smack in the middle of old town. So off we went to work our day and then return to “THE HOTEL” and changed to our new and much warmer location. I knew I had it made when across the street was The Cathedral! Call me crazy, call me supersitious, call me overly religious but I saw that and I knew everything was going to be just fine.

My first evening at the new hotel was white from the black of the one we had left. My room is this great two story loft setting room, with windows over my head so at night I have been able to hear the rain and thunder we have been having the last couple of nights. Right outside the hotel is the outdoor cafe to the Italian restaurant that serves the best thin crust pizza I have ever had. And just across the street from that is a eclectic little joint that uses LP covers for menus and makes fabulous Chicken satay type dish and baby back ribs. The italian restaurant itself in the hotel serves the most marvelous cesaer salad.

So now I was comfortable and at ease sleeping in my new accomadations and was ready for the rest of the week at the conference. Every morning there is breakfast in the restaurant and I have discovered that yogurt on this side of the world is so much better that anything I have ever had anywhere in the US. A bit worried about how I will be able to go back to eating Dannon, or whatever I manage to pick up. 

Again throughout the week the meetings, and conference sessions were jammed packed. I spent ninety percent of my time scheduling meetings and getting background information for the meetings that I hardly ever stepped outside. But thank goodness the conference room we had was made up of three solide walls and one huge windowed wall that faced the center of the conference plaza. So, I was able to watch the  coming and goings all day long and have good light coming into the room all day.

The meetings were intense and full of political hot spots, especially the ones involving our CEO. But he handled them all like silk and never once compromised the ideals or principals he has for this organization. My job the entire week was to meet everyone that was anyone, get to know the board members and most importantly keep my CEO on time and his schedule of meetings straight. Mind you I was getting requests all day for meetings with him and by the end of the day usually had produced 5-6 version of that days shcedule not including the changes for the days ahead.

 Now that I was in my new setting the end of everyday was something I looked forward to instead of wondering what new roommates I would be sharing my room with. And then the weather is what really won me over. In the middle of the second day a dark black cloud starting setting over the conference area and at about 1:00 or 2:00 there was a large thunderclap and without a second to blink the rain came.  Not a drizzle or a spray, I mean a good solid down pour. I was in heaven, working the rest of that day and then coming to my room after dinner and going to sleep listening to rain was worth all the trouble to get this hotel.

Today Friday, the 17th),  was more of the same, busy pace at the conference all the way up to the closing ceremony. Once I got to the hotel I realized that it was still day light, daylight! So I did some early packing and then out I went. First stop, the cathedral, and it was just beautiful and when I walked in they were having evening prayers, in Lithuanian so I didn’t join in but I did take a pew and sat in the midst of many, many people who were there to pay honor to their beliefs and hopes.

They all had the same look, a tired, hopeful, weary, need for something to change their lives. And then there were the tourists, like me. Except for one difference, I was in that building not because I wanted to just take pictures but because throughout my life the church has always been a place where I gained comfort and security and most of all love. So right at that moment I knew it was no acident that I had landed at a hotel right across from the catherdal on my first journey outside of the country. That is a moment between me and God that I will forever remember.

Then I walked out of the cathedral and low and behold, thunderclap and down came the rain. So for about another twenty minutes I stood under the protection of the walls of the cathedral and watch the rain and lightning. When the rain gave way a bit I made a mad dash for a small restaurant I had seen a couple of times in the back of the taxi on the way back to the hotel. Now some of you are going to burst out laughing and some of you are going to be convinced I had come down with a horrible case of some for of jetlag that effects your decision making.

The restaurant was called, (wait for it…) “Los Tres Mexicanos”. Yep you see it right, I ran straight into the arms of my native fair without hesitation. I took my seat facing out and began reading the menu. To start I ordered potatoe taquitos. I was being cautious at this point and staying away from the normal things I would have eaten at a US based mexican restaurant. Well let me just tell you, the taquitos were some of the best I have ever tasted. Perfectly crispy, the potatoes were buttery and the texture was velvet. The salsa that was served with them was a perfect spicyness and the sour creme that you also received with the plate was nothing like what we have in the states.  This creme is smooth and velvety and has no after taste at all.

Okay onto the salad course, simple salad, lettuce (super fresh and crunchy), tomatoes (very sweet and not too ripe) and kidnet beans and fresh yellow corn and carrots. They mix it with a house vingrette that was not overpowering and had just the right amount of bite and a sort of sweetness.

For my main course I ordered the Fish soup. Lord have mercy, this was positively the best soup I have ever had in the states or out! The broth was clear and not fishy tasting. The fish was a firm white fish that was perfectly cooked and there was only carrots, celery and onions. They added just a dip of Chipotle and lime juice and that made the entire dish. And as I face the window, ate my meal and drank my tea with cream, I had the best meal since my arrival into Lithuania. I think I know where I am going for lunch tomorrow!

Home Sweet Home

Posted by admin on August 19th, 2008 filed in Family Vacations
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Anyway, everytime I go home it is a blessed event.  This time there are pictures and I will get them up as soon as I can figure out the software. (I am smart but not the sharpest tool in the shed, YET!) Pictures are so much more important to me now than they ever were. I want the life around me to tell a story in colors and people.

Stay tuned…It all has only just begun!!! WATCH ME GO!!! 

08/25/08 – I got them up! Can you believe it! Well if you can’t figure it out the first one is of my mother and one of my sisters, Isabel.  My mother is my, hmmm how do you put into words something that is sheer emotion. I just can’t, but I will try.  All I can say is, everything that is good about me, everything that is strength, warmth, peaceful and loving about me came from her. She is my core, my heart, my beginning my reason, my mother. Ack! I am tearing up just typing that out.

Okay moving on…

The next two are my wonderful nieces, Zelda and Zephra. We came together late in life. But I believe that was the plan by the man all along (head scratcher). Anyway, they are both warm, loving, full of life smarter than I could ever hope to have been. And beautiful!!!  Oh my goodness! One is tall and gentle and the other petite and a powerhouse. They are both in their own right a bright shining personality. What they don’t know is just how bright they shine, and how hard they really don’t have to try. All they have to do is trust their own hearts, look in the mirror and love what they see. Ah, but don’t we all learn that way too late? (Love you girlies!!!)

And last but not least is the El Paso Sunset. It changes throughout the year but you can always count on the most wonderful colors you have ever seen. The sky looks like it is on fire sometimes and others it looks like an orchid laid out in the middle of the sky. It is amazing. And the thunder storms, god the thunderstorms, the sounds goes right through you. You feel it right to your bones and you can smell the rain coming. The lighting is like a giant Fourth of July show. The claps of thunder make the windows rattle and if you are standing outside the breeze is sort of a warm/cool breeze just before the rain hits and makes you just want to stand there to feel the rain come down on you.

Then it passes, all calms down and the night settles in and the smells of after the rain come. Then the sun comes up and the steam rises and you remember, you are in EL PASO, TEXAS.

“MOM, Can I have a glass of ice water!”

Hello world!

Posted by admin on June 11th, 2008 filed in Uncategorized
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